Imperfect Progress, People.

     Yeah, it was bound to happen.  No sooner do I declare I’m giving up worrying for Lent than I tank.  Sheez.  Two days.  For real.  That's as long as I lasted before I was well on my way to THE DARK PLACE.  Thankfully, I don’t take up residence in that dark place like I used to do.  I’ve progressed to a shorter period of wallowing. Yay me!

    So, here’s the big takeaway from my latest round of wallowing: In order to lay down the worries and anxieties and LEAVE THEM with Jesus, I first must acknowledge them.  I have to allow them to rise to the surface of my heart then FEEL them in all their intensity.  Grief, anger, fear.  ALL THE FEELINGS.  No stuffing?  No ignoring?  No deflecting?  Crap.  No numbing?  But that’s my go-to!  Nope, I have to invite them in to my living, breathing space and sit with them. 

    But do you know what happens when I let myself feel all the feelings?  Jesus comes into my living room too.  He sits with me and He holds me while I throw my fits.  Although, I think He probably stuffs cotton balls in His holy ears to drown out the expletives . . . .  Still, He’s there.  And I learn a little more about what it means to trust Him.  And that is progress.  Imperfect, yes.  Imperfect Progress.  I'll take it.

       Thank You, God, for Your crazy, patient Love.