Thursday, February 26, 2015

Imperfect Progress, People.

     Yeah, it was bound to happen.  No sooner do I declare I’m giving up worrying for Lent than I tank.  Sheez.  Two days.  For real.  That's as long as I lasted before I was well on my way to THE DARK PLACE.  Thankfully, I don’t take up residence in that dark place like I used to do.  I’ve progressed to a shorter period of wallowing. Yay me!

    So, here’s the big takeaway from my latest round of wallowing: In order to lay down the worries and anxieties and LEAVE THEM with Jesus, I first must acknowledge them.  I have to allow them to rise to the surface of my heart then FEEL them in all their intensity.  Grief, anger, fear.  ALL THE FEELINGS.  No stuffing?  No ignoring?  No deflecting?  Crap.  No numbing?  But that’s my go-to!  Nope, I have to invite them in to my living, breathing space and sit with them. 

    But do you know what happens when I let myself feel all the feelings?  Jesus comes into my living room too.  He sits with me and He holds me while I throw my fits.  Although, I think He probably stuffs cotton balls in His holy ears to drown out the expletives . . . .  Still, He’s there.  And I learn a little more about what it means to trust Him.  And that is progress.  Imperfect, yes.  Imperfect Progress.  I'll take it.

       Thank You, God, for Your crazy, patient Love. 

Friday, February 20, 2015

What, Me Worry??

      Oh, that Holy Spirit is something else.  Can you guess what He has directed me to “give up” this Lenten season - and beyond?  WORRY, ANXIETY.  Yeah, I know, this is not a new command.  But, He’s telling me to get serious about it.  NOW!  Easy peasy, right?  Oh, and He says to write about it.  So here I am back on the ol’ blog.  And it's been too long.  I’ve missed writing, working out my faith on paper, or, rather, on the Dell.
     I know very well I cannot do this giving up on my own, in my own strength, with only my own resolve. He’s calling me to constant prayer and conversation with Him.  Communion.  Such a sweet place.  So I’m taking the first step, looking forward to the lessons He has for me.  I come in expectation of the constant conversing with my Jesus, day by day, minute by minute (because I am so very weak on my own), casting my cares on Him. 

     I'm entering this season of Lent meditating on these words from Isaiah 30:15 -

     “This is what the Sovereign Lord, the Holy One of Israel, says:
     ‘In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength . . . .’”